I really need to make more friends. Like, even one more friend would be good. I know that lots of people survive on being alone and in the internet which i am totally no dogging on. I’m just not that type of person. The only problem is that i only have 2 close friends that live near me that I can hang out with when needed/wanted/called upon. One is my partner and the other is my best friend. Unfortunately my BFF is moving to a different state this summer. Which is super amazing for them because they’ll be following their plans and dreams and continue being a super amazing person. The unfortunate thing is that I cannot go with them, not that I should or whatever, but this means i’m down one person that can get me out of the house when i really need to be pulled out.
Depression totally sucks. vodka is delicious.
I do not promote drinking while depressed or while on anti depressants.
Please drink responsibly….
and when you’re done please drink some water because hangovers suck.
p.s. the lonely island is funny as hell.
ok, i’m mostly just trying to figure out what I should buy for myself. I fucking made it through this year and I will be damned if I don’t get myself something for it. Granted, I’m just using this as another excuse to spend money I don’t necessarily have but when you have depression you learn to cope. Going into debt is a coping mechanism and I’ve heard that it’s better than smoking. Don’t quote me on that.
So I keep going back and forth on buying a book about witchcraft and other types of pagan topics or a dress for my new wardrobe. The wardrobe is imaginary but so are all of the book shelves that I don’t have. Let’s be honest, the only space that is “mine” is my van and even then I get told what to do with it. I think that’s why I got such a demanding sense of wanderlust. That all my stuff, all my space, would be mine and I would have it all the time. It might be small but it’ll be mine.
But maybe I do need something back home. A place to keep the things and memories I can’t keep in my camper/vehicle.
I feel like i’m losing everything in my divorce. I’m so depressed.
I’m so sorry.
Happy New Year?