I really like telling stories. Not really to anyone in general but mostly in my head because I make great short stories in my head that will probably never become a full fledged novel or even a short story.
Got any ideas? I’ve got email. I’m happy to read them, give pointers/what i think would be cool (because really i’m not much of a writer myself) because bouncing ideas is fun and bouncy.
ok. so one idea i had was about bubbles. i know it sounds weird, but you guys should know me by now and if you’re already this deep into this blog you’re accepting of the crazy. I appreciate and fear your tenacity.
So! Bubbles. as in, our own little bubble worlds. The ones where if you peek inside of a group of people walking around the mall, they will have a completely different world going on compared to the next bubble, and the next bubble, and the next bubble, AND FOREVER…. So my writing idea was about writing different stories based on one person in each bubble then either that being the end, or having something really climatic happen and you probably already know where i’m going on this….
One of my favorite things to do while home alone, spreading out shots my king size mattress in my jammies, us watch documentaries.
I usually watch the every intriguing ‘conspiracy’ ones or ‘serial killers and their secrets (because we’re secretly hoping you become a copy cat killer, Judy)’. They don’t say it but why else would they provide every detail including HOW THEY FUCKED UP.
Goodnight I have landed on weird things in the world. Apparently dogs and cows can sense the magnetism of the earth and that’s why they spin.
I’m not sure why scientists are researching silly things like this but I like it. I want them to do more.
Inn the flip side… I’m tired. Shit is happening at work and one problem is going to be taken care of and I’m wondering if anything else is happening but I’ll have to wait until Monday.
I love the fact that Peridot from Steven Universe just accepted and rolled with her alienness. accepting the stickers and other weird things and making meepmorps. I would get her gem tattooed on me but I think i would have a hard time keeping a job at that point.
(quick note that google wanted to change peridot to period and alienness to aliveness and that just makes my hour.)
So I’ve been doing better as far as my mental illness goes. Some days are worse because I have to go to therapy or do SSI paperwork and I have to relive a lot of stuff and it makes me sad and anxious and have to take more meds than i wanted to today. Thanks a lot deb.
Sorry if your name is deb. I’m sure it isn’t you that i’m frustrated at. But you could be.
Why you should duck when people say “BOO!”
I call them my Boos and when people are being rude or say mean things or are just being aggravating and anxiety inducing I yell boo and throw one. They have grown into 4 and more will come. If you want one let me know. They’re 10$ in my store.
If anyone is wondering (mostly because i’m not sure if I’ve done this before or not) but I know that I am putting the dollar sign after the numbers because that’s how I read it/ say it so that’s how i’m spelling it. Society be damned. I don’t like having to look back to the beginning of your big numbers and have to go is it dollars, cents, yin, or euros? Fuck people I have things to read!
Say hi to me. Or your neighbor. Or no one if you don’t want to.
Oh my goodness. So much has happened lately that I feel really bad for both not blogging about it before and for blogging about it now.
In the past (sorry, got distracted helping my BFF find some stuff for her homework… where was i?) oh
in the past week i have turned 27, david has turned 3, I was denied an apartment, ben fixed up part of the basement for me to use as my own space, I single handedly took down the government, ad I’m now friends with an ex-con. I’ll let you determine which parts are real.
Beyond those things i have also been comfortable living on my own via living my my BFF’s house because she was away and sometimes boys are stupid and you need to take some time away from them. I have brought it to the attention of a few people that maybe i need to just go full lesbian but decided that getting a motorcycle was just out of the question financially…. for now anyway. Plus, where would I put the carseat?
Sorry if that last paragraph offended you. I know that who you love is not a choice and sometimes we end up loving people who make you crazy and accuse you of losing your mind even when you’re on the mend. I’m pretty sure ben has decided to either not read my blog for his own sanity or he just doesn’t bring it up. Also, I in no way meant to imply that all lesbians have motorcycles like the buffalo gals of cow and chicken yesteryear. I just look up to you all from a light of “holy shit these people are all so cool, why are they staring at me? Oh yeah, I’m naked.”
(Three Friends by John Curran)
No, this isn’t a picture of me. This is actual art so no one can be offended and block me. I hope.
I just got home from experiencing my very first sound meditation. But first, penguins love snow outside my window but have finally gone to bed and so must i soon.
At about 4pm my best friend Clara came and picked me up for the day. We stopped at gateway market (which is delicious btw) before stopping at the local pagan shop just down the street. Ancient Ways is a great little shop. Once I get over my fears and actually do a little marketing work I’ll take some of my woodwork to them. The woman running the store, Gayle, has a doctorate in herbology. She could work for Hogwarts and be the best. Anyway, I asked about stones and herbs for healing and schizophrenia. I began wandering and watching faeries dance around in the ceiling, feeling like I’m swimming through a fog when Gayle looks and me and begins instructing me on breathing and grounding. I do as i’m told and am gently led to a chair and given two stones to hold on to.
As my brain begins to clear, I start to feel more like myself than like a hummingbird trapped in a cage.
Following this experience Clara and I drove to a nondenominational church and proceeded to take part in the best adult sleepover ever. Everyone is really friendly and even if they aren’t necessarily pagan or universalist, they are open to having conversations with us. We packed that church room. With the super-moon above us and a new year beginning, we all begin to slowly follow the leaders instructions of meditation.
Let me tell you: this was the best meditation I’ve ever experienced. I felt the vibrations of the gongs and singing bowls and bells wrapped around my body and enveloped my mind until the voices could think anymore. I began a journey of flying with a brown eagle who led me to a stream. I floated on the stream for a moment before allowing the gongs to sink me into the water. There I met a Koi fish who helped me face a fear of moving forward. We swam up river and up a waterfall where a bear waited, catching fish in its mouth. The koi fish reassured me that the bear did not want me and that i just needed to keep swimming. Finally making it above the waterfall I lay on the shore for what felt like days. From there I felt a presence of Love and protection.
Jurai, the panther, is my guide. He told me so and helped me run through the forests, with and against the sound waves of each gong and bell. We slept high in the trees before finally returning to a hollowed out part of a willow tree. There, he assured me that he would be with me through my journey this year. He would be there to guide me and be there to comfort me.
From there we were guided out of the meditation and stretched into our unified energy. It was fantastic and I can’t stop smiling about it.
My intention for this year is to be happy. I have a long journey ahead of me. But I will be happy.