Thursday struggles

Trigger warning: anxiety, depression, self harm.
Please, don’t take me for a fool fore i won’t take you as one. But i swear, the pictures began talking to me. 

Let me explain, my job is to sort preschool pictures, weigh them, and dump them. The reasons are too complex to explain in this blog but if you really want to know, shoot me an email. 

At work i like to listen to audiobooks to escape the drole of paper repititiously being moved along desks and hands.   Plus it gives a louder voice for all the other ones to sit in a circle during story time and try to relax. 

Unfortunately, they were given too much sugar and won’t sit down, let alone listen to the story. So i tried to ground, breathing in and pushing out roots to try to bring me back to myself.  Next time I’m bringing a rope. 

Today is a day for flying. I want to go home and curl up in my blankets and sleep all day. I cant focus and makes working even more difficult. I actual stared  at my box cutter and had thoughts of self harm to try to bring me back to myself. I haven’t so far today and I’ll continue trying to keep myself in the building. 

Thank the gods that i have therapy today. 

P.S. the book I’m listening to is A Study in Scarlet Women by Sherry Thomas.  I highly recommend it. 

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