White walk talks

Disclaimer: I’m not being racist. It snowed so its uber white out.  When the snow turns toxic after the apocalypse or the nuclear fallout makes it snow black I’ll name that post “black dead talks” for now just deal with it.

“I want to move out here” i tell ben as we walk around a path through a park. I keep giggling because the snow looks like someone spilled glitter everywhere and the pretty colors make me smile.  Like rainbows captured in each snowflake.

Ben begins explaining why i can’t move out here; listing higher living expenses, longer drive times to get David from his dad,  etc.  I begin wondering if my joy of being here is just from getting away from home or if I’m partially high from the elevation and lack of oxygen compared to des Moines.

“Fine, maybe once i get my rv I’ll travel around the ren circuit and get my travels in that way. ” i recently realized that getting married, buying a house and having a baby, all before the age of 25 may have been a little…. rushed. Thats what i thought i was supposed to do to be happy. My parents did it, though not in that order.  So why couldn’t i?

This is the part where i start disagreeing with the way i was brought up as a child.  I grew up Catholic with mmy grandparents while my mom worked and my dad was in the army. I was told never to go out after dark, never go out alone, don’t talk to strangers, no scary movies, etc.  I’m not saying i had a bad life growing up but i wish i could have lived a little more open.

This is the part where my mom would shake her head saying “I’m so sorry you had such a terrible childhood but we were doing our best!” And, yeah.  My parents did the best with the knowledge they had just like i am with my son.  parenting is the hardest job you’ll ever have and you won’t do anything right. I’m sure in 20 years they’ll say “don’t make your kids laugh! That’s how you get wrinkles! And everyone knows wrinkles cause cancer” because why the fuck not.

Anyway, two circles around and ben and i have agreed that I’ll save 20$ out of each paycheck in order to save up for my rv.  I hope i get a good one.